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How Not To Get A Mary Sue

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X-x-X-x-X-x-X How to Create A Well balanced Female Lead X-x-X-x-X-x-X

For most people, the problems that people will have with a character is the lack of balance they might have.
Mary-Sues are the most popular characters that exemplify this.

Mary Sues are characters that have more good traits than flaws and therefore look perfect for the audience. That can include all sorta of aspects in the character 'life'.

1) You have over-powered Mary-sues who can defeat any and every opponent and therefore are respected and awed by everyone.

2) Realtionship-Sues who are so much of the woman that every man who meets her is obviously struck with love the minute they see her, even when the character has no real qualities that WOULD normally attract men. And these are also the ones who are able to take their pick of the guy and somehow always end up getting with the most sought-after man in the series.

3) You have the feminist-sues/tom-boy sues who are the perfect women in their being less "girly" only so they look better than the more feminine females in the series. And most of the time they don't even earn the title OF tom-boy... they're just called the tom-boy so they look like a good role-model for females.

There are plenty of them.

But what is it that makes these females a Mary-sue? Surely there is nothign WRONG with having love, or a good personality, or being the girl that people can look up to!
And there isn't.
But it DOES become a problem when the character has so much of it that they look perfect while the other females look horrible next to them.

The character MUST have balance. There is nothign redeeming about a character who was perfect since day one but never had to work on herself or had to learn more about herself in order to GET THERE.

And so, we talk about character development in one of the less thought of ways:
Giving the character some baddies.

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1) The Flaws
Nobody wants a goodie two-shoes.
It doesn't matter if the character is smart, beautiful, mature, kind, humble, thoughtful, etc. if she doesn't have something that makes people squirm none the less.
But you also can't just dump a few flaws that either don't make sense for the character, or actually make her look better.
Being self-sacrificial or over-taxing herself does not mean she is flaws significantly.
Especially if the character's history is of clinging or depending on other people for support.

Therefore, the best way that a person can give the character some flaws if to look back at the character's history, and find out what way her history would have built her up to be like.
Then after you've found that character's flaws, you need to make sure they are consistent in the characters action/thought process.

For example:
Lets say that you have a princess character.

What does she do now?
Does she run her own country?
Is she striving to be a warrior?
Maybe she doesn't want to be a princes at all?
Maybe she's more of a dictator?


What happened to her family? Were they killed off? Or did they die of old age?
-If they were killed off, then how would the experience have effected their daughter?
Would she not be angry towards the people who did it?
Maybe she would be angry at her parents for leaving her.
What if she actually blamed the people who were supposed to protect them?
It would also make her realize that people don't last as long:
Would that make her think she needs to hold on to people better?
Maybe it means she must keep the other people she cares about safe no matter what.
OR it'll have the opposite affect and make her not WANT to care about other people.


If her parents didn't die: How did they treat her when she was growing up?
Did they spoil her?
Maybe they ignored her?
Maybe they treated her harshly.
Maybe they didn't want her at all.
Maybe they were over protective of her?
Maybe they actually treated her just right. (People can grow up with flaws even without being traumatized by their PARENTS.)


Does she have siblings? How did THEY treat her?
Maybe her siblings bullied her?
Maybe they got her in trouble all the time?
Maybe they were treated better than her?
Maybe they loved her very well.
Maybe they clinged to her?


If she didn't go to school: Did she have any friends?
How did they treat her?
What happened to them?


All of those situations could actually give the character a reasonable flaw: even in normal, happier situations, people can develop some kind of trait even if it's born of rebelliousness.

You also need to make sure that she has several negative traits as well: having one trait can lead to having more traits, and it will help you when writing your character if you need to find a different way for your character to act in a situation. But make sure that the traits go together slightly: If your character spoiled and bratty, it would make sense for her to act jealously or selfishly: not dejectedly.

AND once you've found her traits you then need to figure out how it will affect her in the future.
Make sure that it will be consistent: even if she learns that the resulting behavior is offing, even if she learns to be better, that trait is still a part of her no matter what. She may be more conscious of it and maybe she'll try not to act on it, but it SHOULD still have some amount of sway on her thoughts and feelings. It SHOULD affect her in some way, even if it's body language.
Just make sure the traits are still there.

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2) The Skills/Powers
Nobody wants a character who can do EVERYTHING.
You character SHOULD have some sort of skill, and it's good if she does. But make sure that there are still some things that she can't do very well. being talented doesn't mean the character is a complete Picasso either: there should also be somebody who can do things better than she can.

For example:
If your character is a warrior.
If your character lives in a world where super powers are not normal at all: don't you DARE give your character control over the elements.
You character needs to fit in with the world's theme in some way.
!!!Keep to the laws of that worlds physics!!!

- Instead of magical powers, give your character a skill in weaponry.
But you ALSO need to make sure that if your character is skilled with a weapon: don't over do it either.
If your character is skilled with a sword she SHOULDN'T be able to pick up a bow and arrow and proficiently knock down 100 enemies within ten minutes if she has never used the weapon before.

ALSO make sure that your character has somebody that can beat her even in the area she's good at.
She should either have a rival (somebody with equal ability) or there should be somebody who is more of a master.

Also make sure that it makes sense how talented she is:
A sword fighter can only take on SO MANY other enemies: she should NOT be able to beat 10 people in one blow: at MOST she should be able to take on 4-5 people at once.
If she beats 5 people it should be over a length of time in the battle 1 down after a few minutes of swordplay, then on to the next one.

YOU ALSO need to make sure she can get beaten or wounded in battle.
There should NOT be a character who just went into battle without even a mark on her shoulder, and she should not beat everybody in every single battle: maybe for every 4 she wins there should be 1 she looses (Not in this order, becasue it turns into a pattern; switch up her winning/loosing streaks a bit)


NO MAGICAL OBJECTS THAT WILL GIVE HER SOME SORT OF SUPER POWER EITHER!!
--> Ex: in the Sonic universe there are only a few that actually are able to use the chaos emeralds. Your fan character shouldn't be able to use those powers on the same level as somebody like Shadow, even if they COULD use the emeralds.
Give them some combat moves but please don't overdo it.
There ALSO shouldn't be any secret weapons that give your fancharacter super powers on that same level either. NO SWORD OF ACORNS EQUIVALENT SHOULD BE IN YOUR FIC.
Maybe something on the scale of Amy's hammer is fine: but there shouldn't be another super robot like Tail's Tornado running around. It's stupid and it makes you looks like a dick.


- If her world DOES allow for super powers, make sure they are reasonable and the same rules should apply as normal:
She should have ONE or TWO real powers: but if your character has ice breath, AND super strength, AND power over metal, AND Chaos abilities, AND healing powers, AND the power to summon 20 different weapons, AND the ability to bring the dead back to life, AND super kicks, AND ninja powers, AND DBZ powers, AND transformation powers etc then you look like a crappy writer.

On that note: It's okay for you character to be able to cook, and draw, but don't add having an amazing singing voice, piano AND violin talent, AND great doctors skills, AND sculpting powers, AND make them a model on top of that. Let them be okay in a few activities but don't give them a plethora.
~
This also includes warrior skills: if the character is good a PLANNING battles, she should be only the person who plans it: she shouldn't also be able to do karate AND fight with a sword, bow and arrow, and kunai.

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3) Relationships
You character should NOT be loved by everybody, and when people dislike her it SHOULD NEVER be due to jealousy.
Not everybody in the universe likes everyone else.
People have different opinions on things and simply personalities that are different. Nobody HAS to like anybody: and not liking somebody is too natural and normal an occurrence to be ignored in your fanfiction.
There SHOULD be people around your character that do not have much of an opinion of her.
There should be people who don't know your character and is not interested in knowing her.

For example:
If your character is in a modern school
Your character shouldn't be the most awed girl in school: and there should be no OTHER character like that either.
School isn't like that anymore.
There is no caste system.
There should be characters that are known in general by everybody, and they shouldn't be the only person known at that school.
There should be no 'prettiest girl in school' character: there should be a general amount of girls who can be equally pretty in some way.

When it comes to popularity, the character should have an average amount of friends then be known by a general amount of people: the same thing for everyone else.
There are no cliches: but there should be groups of friends who also have other groups of friends and each group should overlap with people:
In schools people are known from classes they will have with each other AND the activities that's each perosn participates in which should be a decent number.

And there is no such thing as nerds really in the school.
Smart people can be very popular. Popular people shouldn't really be dumb.
The class president of your fic-school should have decent grades but also should have some ties in other clubs and with other people.
Even band members can be 'cool'.

Your character shouldn't always be the nerd, nor should she be the prettiest, smartest girl at school either. Even if she has braces and is awkward, there should still be her best buddies as well as other people in the school setting that might interact with her positively, like with doing projects or being in clubs with her.

Having the whole school caste system is too cliche and immature. Just make her normal.


- There is also if your character isn't in school:
If she is working, then she should have some friends outside of work or in work, even if they're from her past
If she's in Sonic where characters are just running around doing whatever they want, she should probably have a group of friends somewhere: maybe in some town she stops by.

This doesn't really include villain characters, although it can if your character goes from hero to femme fatale.

The Sonic-based societies are numerous, so you can be flexible with your character.
Just make sure she isn't a cliches Princess Sally or Elise.
She can be a normal girl like Amy and Bunnie and still be interesting.

-ALSO make sure that your character can have some guy friends. It's normal for girls to have friends with guys and not letting it be a big deal. There can and should be several guys at this: like if it's a group of five there can both either OR 2 girls to 3 guys, or 3 girls to 2 guys.
Don't make gender an issue!

In the end, your character should be treated like any other person:
Some people like her, some hate her, and some just don't care.

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4) Love Life
Ugh. This is a big one for female characters, although it really shouldn't be.
NOT ALL FEMALE CHARACTERS HAVE TO HAVE A LOVE INTEREST
Romance is OKAY for a story only if it makes sense and if it fits and is developed with the story.
Just make sure the romance is just ONE theme and is balanced with others.
DON'T turn an action story into a soap opera.

But what really is a hindrance for female character is their relationship status! Your character should not be the only female to find love, and their love life shouldn't hurt other characters while you're at it.
Love triangles are so much of a cliche, and when your character is in the center, it makes your character look like the 'everybody loves her' girl. How about switching it up and maybe developing her relationship with other characters more naturally?

Falling in love or getting into a relationship or other hindrances to a characters relationship is harder than JUST "I don't know who to choose!"
How about things like their career might get in way, or they have arguments sometimes?

And although it's okay for things like jealousy in developing the relationship, don't make that the default! Not EVERY girl should like your female character's love interest! If they are going to get together, don't make it look like the other characters weren't as good as your female: make sure the reasoning they get into the relationship is believable.

You ALSO shouldn't rely too much on childhood friends = lover!
People go through MANY relationships before finding the one.
Also having your character having interests in others isn't such a bad thing as long as they don't turn into a slut. Keep it balanced.
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5) The Character
Things that I haven't already mentioned would be things like giving your character titles or categories they they do not deserve or haven't worked for!

For example:
Calling your character a tomboy.
Why are you calling her a tomboy?
Your female character shouldn't be a tomboy just becasue they have guy friends when she's younger. She shouldn't be a tomboy just becasue she's book-smart. She shouldn't be a tomboy just because she isn't TOO worried about appearance.
Just leave her as a character instead of trying to fix her up to look better.

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6)Appearance
NEVER make your character "The most BEAUTIFUL girl in the WORLD".
Your character can be pretty or even righteously beautiful.
But there SHOULD be people who are prettier than her.
And PLEASE don't go into a paragraph that talks about everything that makes her beautiful if you don't do the same for other characters.
And please stop with the 'she's so NATURALLY beautiful but she doesn't care about her looks' cliche.
It's okay for girls to wonder about their looks/it's bad when your character looks like she's so much of an angle that she doesn't need to work to look like the best.

I would suggest not even mentioning beauty in your fic to be honest if you're just talking about the character. It shouldn't be blatantly obvious.

ALSO make sure not to make everybody fall in love with her becasue she's pretty, nor make other girls uber jealous about her looks. It looks like tacky story writing when you do.
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7) Role
The whole "Everything happens to this character because she's the main lead" is bull.
Your LEAD character should never be the only one to get some focus or have things go her way: especially when it'll be detrimental to the other characters.

Your secondary cast should have problems of their own: and they should have some blessings come their way as well.
Even rival characters should be able to win sometimes: A rival means an equal!
Se shouldn't ALWAYS suffer becasue the lead character gets everything.

Also make sure your character's role is ONE role.
She shouldn't be the brains of the operation AND the hero: distribute roles out equally and make things fair for everyone.

No killing other girls so your main can get things easily.
Especially in shipping:
If the girls are fighting over a guy, the guy should actually have some amount of attachment to the other girl: they should be friends and if she were to die it should actually hurt the male love interest, or else there was no point in making that girl: she was just an obstacle and not a character, which is crappy writing.

Don't do it/
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I will probably add more to this passage, however, I hope that for those  who read, this guide will help you in writing out your character.
Although it is good to make a character as cool as possible, writers also have to make sure they don't over do it.
Make sure your character is balanced as possible!
And make sure that things or fair.
Else wise you might end up with a Mary Sue

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:P How to net get a Mary sue character.
A General guide line XD
© 2011 - 2024 KrissyBKillin
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writingscifi65's avatar

I worked this all out in an easy to use check list for people who like to Role Play here. Here's the link: